Toni Louise Gets a Haircut

 Mr. BoJangles here. I am using Mom's new computer. She was reluctant at first, telling me not to scratch her keys. I am no novice, I tell you, she should know that I have done this before!

We have been traveling a lot lately. I would include photos, if Mom could figure out how to load them. She keeps saying not to worry, that Jeff is coming soon and will help her figure things out. I like Jeff okay, even if he did say I was a funny looking little dog. I will try to set that aside and be on my best behavior while he is here. Mom has no qualms about confining us dogs to her room should we become a nuisance.

Yesterday was very strange here at our house. Mom got up and let us out and the day was going along. Mom had her vile smelling coffee. She will offer her cup for me to sniff (why do I always fall for this trick?) and I will dutifully take a sniff. How does she drink this? I have heard Dad say that it smells good, but I don't think his nose works!

After the sniff and a few minutes of sitting next to Mom while she rubbed my little belly, she got up and dressed. Oh no, are they going somewhere? Will they be leaving us with peanut butter lick pads? Eddie said not to worry that Mom's choice of clothes was not the kind that would leave the house. She was humming and trying to locate Toni Louise. 

She brought out some clippers. The very ones that she sometimes cuts Dad's hair with. But Dad was not here. Eddie and I huddled together on the ottoman and watched quietly. She came down the hall with Toni Louise in her arms. Eddie said this was not a good sign and to lay very still and pretend to sleep so she wouldn't look at us.

She turned the clippers on and started giving Toni a haircut! Why? She was talking the whole time, telling Toni what a good girl she was and how much she loved her. Toni is not Mom's dog; she is Dad's dog. What is this insanity?

Toni did not look happy. Mom had her down on the floor, with Toni half in her lap as she slowly moved the clippers along her back and tail. Lots of hair came off, but Toni looked the same. She has a lot of hair, our Toni. Dad came in and asked Mom how it was going. Did he know this was on the agenda for today?

Mom asked for a pair of scissors, telling Dad they were a lot of mats and tangles. When Toni heard her, she tried to escape from Mom's lap. Toni is very old and has lived most of her life with Mom and Dad and should know by now that none of us dogs can escape Mom when she has her mind set on something. Seems like hours passed as the pile of Toni's discarded fur grew larger. Dad decided to try to gather a pile up ....... with his feet. Mom just looked at him and he stopped. She mentioned brooms and vacuums as she told Toni about Dad's efforts to help.

When she finally stopped cutting Toni's hair, she didn't look as fat as she usually did (Toni, not Mom). Then Mom let her go and told Dad not to let her hide. We all watched as Mom tried several times to get up off the floor. Eddie said we should look the other way and whatever we did, not to laugh. Eddie is such a loyal dog. I am not. I watched and it was hilarious, as she tried to figure out how to put her knee down and then use the chair to pull herself up. She made several attempts before she finally put her shoe under her knee and using a shelf and the chair managed to fully stand.

Dad was laughing and so was Mom. Mom was also covered in Toni's hair. She kept spitting and saying some was in her mouth. She grabbed Toni from Dad and headed to the bathroom. I like a good bath, but I am not up for a haircut! She was in the bathroom with Toni for a very long time. Toni told us later that she shampooed her twice and put conditioner in her hair. She did smell good, I must admit.

Then we heard the shower again as Mom cleaned herself up. Dad had the vacuum out and sucked up all the doghair ..... well, he tried. Mom discovered a lot he missed when she came out from her shower.

Wait a minute! Was she going to bath me and Eddie or not? No, she was not! She said that Toni had worn her out and her back hurt. I wanted my nice warm bath that comes with a good massage as Mom works the shampoo into my fur, all the while singing to me. She never complains about her back when she bathes me and Eddie!

Mom rested after grooming Toni. Toni hid the rest of the day behind Dad's chair and under the bed. The day ended with no grooming for me or Eddie. I was disappointed, but Eddie surmised that until the clippers were out of sight, we were better off with no grooming.

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