Melancholy

 Feeling somewhat somber today. Deep thoughts run through my mind. Life is just a book. The number of chapters is up to the author, that author is yourself, of course. As I get older, I tend to go back and re-read my favorite chapters and try to avoid the ones that were not pleasant. In the end, though, you have to read them all. Even the ones you would like to forget. I hope that when I am forced to live the last chapter, I will be able to have resolved any chapters that are full of regrets.

I haven't posted in some time now. I have been occupied with my somber thoughts as I try to help our cousin, Doris, navigate her way through her own crisis. Her husband, Kevin, died this afternoon around 12:30. It came as a relief, to know that he no longer suffers. He has been a part of our extended family for 20 years or so. I would have to say that I didn't know him too well. What I did know of him was that he made Doris happy and frustrated all at the same time. Much like my own husband of almost 50 years. He was generous to others and always willing to help someone down on their luck. Just a good soul that now lives on in heaven.

I am not sure when we will be heading south again, but it will be soon. Doris will need a hand to lift her up and help her sort out her future. Really, just an ear to listen. Isn't that what most people need after they lose a loved one? To just be able to talk to someone who will not judge them or give a lot of unsolicited advice. Not everything can be fun, you know.

I am prepared to go on short notice. I took the RV apart and cleaned it with a vengeance. I swept and vacuumed and mopped and scrubbed. As I congratulated myself on a job well done, I happened to see the cab through the sweat running through my eyes and came to the realization that it needed my attention.

I don't sit in the cab with the driver. I sit with the fur babies in the dinette section. I make it into the bed for very short people and with limited views of what is in front of us, I only know later when we are lost or have made a wrong turn. But I digress.

Since I don't ride up front, I don't make a mess up front. Any messes in the cab are the responsibility of the driver. The driver (aka HeWho drives) will pay exorbitant fees to have the outside of the RV washed and waxed and will lovingly clean the windows, inside and out. But, he also will will toss the used paper towels to the floor as if some fairies will come in the sleeping hours and tidy everything. He sometimes eats as he drives and regularly spills his beverages that he will sop up with more paper towels that end up in the floor. He keeps what he thinks are necessities next to his seat. Various tools and rolls of paper towels close at hand. Are you beginning to see a pattern?

The cab has been cleaned twice. Both times, I did it. Reluctantly, I did it. Resentfully, I did it. After all, not my mess! But, as dog hair will travel through the air, I tackled it for the second time. I am not sure exactly how many hours I spent on the RV cleaning this time, but it was in the morning hours when I started and the entire afternoon slipped away as I labored. It now smells clean. Mr. Clean clean!

I will not include the many oddities found on the floor next to the drivers seat. Like the unopened box of chocolate covered donuts that I only recognized from the label. They were well beyond any eat by date! HeWho is addicted to sugarfree Juicy Fruit gum and buys it in the 120 piece refill bag had three such bags in various states of use. I combined them all into one bag, not caring if they were old, very old or new. As I said, not my monkeys, not my zoo. All I can say is that the RV now has only unused paper towels on board.

I just need to add to the clothing I keep on board and we will be ready to roll. Hopefully I will return with a lighter heart.