Writing Was My Best Friend .......

 As happy as I am that HeWho is becoming more active and interested in doing things, sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't just do everything myself. But what would I have to complain about if I did?

Yesterday, after working in the various gardens and finishing my fence I built from the small trees I cut down and scraped the bark from, I came in to avoid the midday sun and heat. The nights are cool here, in the 60's, but around 1 PM, the heat becomes intense and I take advantage of the cool indoors. As I sat reading email and drinking ice water, HeWho is usually a stranger to the kitchen was washing dishes and making a pitcher of ice tea. Or, is it iced tea? Anyhoo, he was attempting to put the lid on the plastic pitcher. He was getting aggravated because he said it didn't fit. He was pounding on it with his fist. I decided to take over before he knocked the entire contents onto the floor. If he did and cleaned it up, I can guaratee the floor would still be sticky until I mopped it up myself.

He did not have it aligned correctly and I fixed it with little effort. It makes me question things about life, you know. Why does pistachio ice cream have almonds instead? These are the great mysteries of life I ponder in my insomniac hours. Why are men so inept in the kitchen? I know they all aren't, but why do they act like household chores are so overwhelming?

I noticed that my capsules for my crazy pills (I am bi-polar) looked different when I picked them up from CVS. I checked and found it to be a different drug company and thought no more about it. Until the last few weeks. It doesn't seem to be working as well as the other generic from a different vendor did.

Nothing drastic, just felt a little off. Once again, I didn't connect the different vendor with the way I felt. I am nearing the end of a 3 month supply and I can definitely tell the difference. Twice I have awakened in the middle of the night crying. No idea why, can't remember a dream or any event that caused me to be that sad. That's not to say I don't cry easily. I have sad tears and I have happy tears, just like the rest of the world.

Today, I am profoundly depressed. Not quite the very bottom of a mood swing, but close. I will be seeing my primary for a referral, I suppose. I am not looking forward to another year of non-stop trips to a doctor's office. Then they will want to change my drugs and I hate the process of taking a graduated dosage for a period of time to decide if the desired outcome will happen. Then on to the next trial. 

So, this is why I am silent. I read my list of favorite blogs, but can't seem to find words to comment. I am there lurking in the background like a literary talker. Most of what I read brings a smile to me face for a brief time, sometimes a tear of empathy. I have trouble concentrating enough to write. I love to write, but I feel like I have lost my best friend.