I Have No Pedigree

 

Mr. BoJangles here again. Eddie and I were discussing some of the things we heard our mom say to our dad. Look closely and you will see that Eddie's upper lip is scrunching up into a snarl as he defends Mom. I was annoyed, so I stuck my tongue out at him. That just made things escalate (this means get worse, in case you didn't know. I didn't know until Mom told me.). Mom is not a fan of loud dog fights and she stepped in immediately. We had to go to different areas and sit. 

"Do not look at each other, do not breathe on each other, do not touch each other, and do not say anything to each other!" said Mom. That is a whole lot of "do nots", don't you think? Then Mom told us that this was what she said to her children and if they did not obey, she would tie their hands together. Actually, she never had to actually tie them together, just threaten to. How would that work with us dogs?

Ho would we walk? It would be six legs to coordinate. How would we pee? I can squat in a pinch, but I like the leg lift. Back to the arguement we were an audience to. Mom told Dad how to install some shelves and he acted like he did not know what she was trying to say. I don't know why he does this. Wait, I do know. He doesn't want to do it, so he acts like he doesn't understand. This is dumb, though. I understood what she said and I am a dog! A very smart little guy, as Mom is apt to say, but shelving is out of my area of expertise!

I know many things. I know where all my wubbies are and I know how to chase them and shake them and bring them to a person to throw across the floor for me to chase. I know all about water dishes. Ours is metal and if you tip it forward and then let it fall, it makes an annoying noise. The noise alerts humans that our water dish is empty. The same technique seems to work quite well on the food dish.

Dad tried to fill our food dish. This was not a good distraction from the arguement, like he thought it would be. I heard Mom ask just how much food he was giving us. He answered "two cups, like you said" She grabbed the big scoop and dumped it into the white cup she usually gets our food with. It was not just two cups. Toni Louise was peeking around the side of the recliner and when Mom announced Dad's error in measuring, she quietly slipped back behind his chair.

Then Mom said that he was making us dogs fat!! I am not fat! I am cute! Toni and Eddie are a little chunky but that does not mean I have fallen victim to fatness! Mom went on to say that the extra weight was bad for Eddie's back and that Toni was having trouble jumping on things. Eddie is a pedigeed dog, as he so often tells Toni and me. He says his parents were also pedigreed and he has a long line of pedigreed ancestors. He can be snobbish, you know. But his breed is apt to back issues.

I may not be pedigreed and I know who my mother is. Never met my father. But, just look at my cuteness overload! Who cares about pedigrees? Not me! And I don't have any issues with my back!