I Am Confused

 It is me, the cute Mr. BoJangles. You will not believe what happened today! I am still in shock.

This morning, as soon as Mom finished her coffee, she got dressed and ready to go somewhere. Dad was still in bed and she didn't wake him until she had a leash in her hand.

I asked Toni where we were going. She stared at me for a minute, then asked if I had noticed that Mom had just one leash in her hand. Now that she mentioned it, I did see only one leash. Who was she going to leash up?

I was about to start to petition Mom to let ME be the one, but Toni pushed me away and told me that I did not want to go with Mom. I was baffled, how does she know what I might want! Mom buckled the leash onto Eddie's choke chain and shooed me and Toni back inside. She told us to go find Dad and she would be back soon.

Dad actually got up and dressed and it wasn't even noon! I admit that I don't know why sleeping until noon is a bad thing, but I have heard Mom say that to him, so ....

Mom returned and came inside ..... ALONE. Where is Eddie? I heard Mom tell Dad that Eddie wouldn't be ready until much later. Ready for what? Then she told Dad that she had to sneak out of the office before Eddie would go to the back with the technician. What technician? What is a technician?

Then Dad asked if Mom wanted to go run some errands. What are errands? They left and I tackled Toni Louise. I would not let go until she agreed to answer all my questions. She explained everything. It seemed that Eddie was having his teeth cleaned. All the big suspence because they were brushing Eddie's teeth. I hope he doesn't bite anyone.

But, Toni was not finished, there was more to the story. She asked if I remembered going to the vet to get all of my shots. It was only last week, so, of course I remembered. Then she asked if I was listening when we were all in the car on the way home. Listening to what? This question seemed to annoy her and she told me I should start paying attention to what is going on around me. Then, she told me what she heard the humans talking about. This is what she calls Mom and Dad .... Humans. I wanted to ask about that, but thought maybe I should save that question for another day.

Okay, what else are you going to tell me? She told me that Eddie would be going to sleep while they cleaned his teeth and that was not all they planned to do. They removed his testicles! Why did they do that? And, where are MY testicles? I had noticed that although Eddie had testicles, I don't.

When she stopped laughing she told me that my testicles were removed when I was very young and I probably don't remember. She said that was a good thing; then she explained how this removal happened! I was traumatized by just the telling and agree that she is right, I am happy I don't remember this event in my life.

I felt so bad for Eddie. Mom and Dad returned long enough to put the groceries in the house and left again. When they came back, Mom was carrying Eddie in her arms. She put him down to drink water, then lifted him carefully to the couch. Toni kept telling him to smile and show us his clean teeth. He ignored her and lay down. She tried to lift his tail to see his stitches until Mom smacked her and told her "NO".

I didn't try to bother him, just told him I hoped he was alright. He is asleep now, next to Mom. I had to get in her lap from the other side. Mom told me that Eddie will feel better soon and that we should be extra nice to him.

I still do not understand why this is necessary. I asked Mom and she told me that dogs have a healthier life without testicles. The only thing they are for is to make puppies with a girl dog. WHAT? This is where puppies come from?

I will stop asking questions now, while my mind is trying to process all this new information. This has blown my tiny mind!