Homecoming
My phone rang earlier this morning. I didn't recognize the number, but answered anyway. It was my vet. I was totally off guard as she told me that Cujo was ready to be picked up. I didn't say anything for a few seconds, then thanked her and hung up.
I got dressed and we went to pick up my sweet boy to bring him home.
Doesn't seem like he should fit in such a small box.
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There was a little bag full of stuff besides just the box containing his ashes. I want to go sit somewhere alone and cry, but I can't. I feel awful that I can't. It is like telling him I am too busy to think about him.
This from the crematory that took care of his little body.
But, this is what made me unable to speak as I walked out with my little guy. Hard to see in the picture, but they got an imprint of his paw. I confess that I sniffed it to see if it smelled like his paws. It didn't. Then, the hair they snipped for me.
I have paw prints and boxes of ashes a plenty, but have never been given a sample of their hair. It DID smell like him. I have been grieving all afternoon all over again. I miss him so much.
Only time will ease my pain and I know this from losing my other dogs.
Hurting with you. And hugging you tightly. Wish you could feel the hug. ❤️🙅🏼♀️
ReplyDeleteI was going to say I didn't mean to make anyone sad, but that would be dishonest! I want everyone Cujo touched to be sad for never "seeing" him again. He liked women, just liked me the best, though.
DeleteI think it's comforting to have those tangible remembrances of him. I'm sitting alone at my kitchen table, and I cried for Cujo. And for you, too.
ReplyDeleteHe deserves the tears you shed, he was quite a character, my little guy. It is nice to have the things to remind me that he was a big part of my life. I saw a necklace that was made to hold ashes. It was like a tiny crystal bulb and the artist had woven hair into the glass. Looks like it held maybe a 1/4 teaspoon of ashes. I was afraid to check the price of such a precious item, though. I might, though. It would be a nice gift from HeWho, wouldn't it? Last time I lost a dog he bought me a puppy (Eddie). i am not opposed to that! He says we can't have another puppy because it could outlive us!
DeleteI'm crying here too, the paw print and those beautiful poems brought the tears. He knows you aren't ready to cry yet.
ReplyDeleteI have cried a million tears for my boy. I try to not do it in public, though. Crying right now! Eddie will get in my lap soon and try to lick the tears away. He is such a sensitive soul. Not a big fan of "smoochie time", he has allowed me to kiss his cheeks and head over and over again. It was Cujo's thing with me, he loved it and would lay his cheek on my lips if he thought I was not giving him his full time! My girls are right, I am a crazy dog lady! And proud of it!
DeleteI truly, absolutely totally, understand all of this, my friend! We lost our pets to old age three years in a row, one right after the other (the Schnauzer in 2011, then the Beagle-Dachshund in 2012, then the Tuxedo cat in 2013)... and we received a box for each, their paw prints, the hair clippings, etc. Each time I sat in the vet parking lot for a long time crying after opening the packages they gave me. I wish I could reach right out to you and give you the biggest hug... it would be small comfort, I know, but just to let you know we all care about you in this. Please know I'm keeping you in prayer for peace and comfort as you go through these days. 💕
ReplyDeleteIt is not like I have never experienced this before. The year my collie died at age 14 was extremly hard. We had moved to Missouri and left our grown children in Minnesota. He had a stroke on Friday and I really thought he would die in the night. He hung on until Monday when we had to make that awful appointment. Had to listen to each one of my children sob as they said goodbye to him via phone. Cried all the way home without him and after that our Saint Bernard refused to eat. She died 6 weeks after him. She was only 11. I say only, that was a long life for her breed. As much as it hurt, I wold do it all over again to have them back. In thinking about Cujo, I realize that he was bcoming more and more uncomfortable. He wasn't eating as much, but his belly was still big. I wonder now if maybe he was harbouring a tumor. He isn't anymore, so there is that.
DeleteOh my goodness this brought tears. Parying for your comfort.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Linda. The only people who don't understand are not pet people. I figure those folks are defective!
DeleteSometimes the pain never goes away.
ReplyDeleteIt really doesn't, just becomes more bearable. I am lavishing all my love on the remaining pets. Poor Bo runs from me, he is not into kisses!
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