Comfort
I seem to lack the ambition to do anything. I split and re-potted my boston fern into three smaller pots. I still have one to do. I planted some tulips with high hopes about underground critters leaving them alone.
I should go up to the She Shed and do some organizing, but as I was putting the ferns to bed for the fall in the back yard, before I have to bring them in, I ended up walking past the spot where Cujo died.
It all went down from there. Just the thought of him dying on the cold ground before HeWho picked him up and brought him to me is almost more than I can bear. He was limp and cold and HeWho loves me looked devastated to have to tell me that my sweet boy was gone.
I would take a nap, but I am not sleepy and would only cry into the soft fur of Eddie and miss Cujo and his warm comfort next to me. Eddie has been stuck to my side when he wasn't outside searching for his brother. He will wander around the yard, his nose in the air sniffing, then down to the ground. He always ends up at the same spot and will just stand there until I either call him in or go pick him up.
You have to give yourself time to grieve, as long as it takes.
ReplyDeleteI know this, having done it so many times with my other canines that are gone. Knowing doesn't help much, though.
DeleteHugs, Kathy. I have three small cedar boxes on the mantel. Each one holds a piece of my heart. My vet wrote me a sympathy note when I lost Pasquale. Said I should take some comfort in knowing that he had a happy life and was much loved. The same is true for Cujo. We do all we can, and, that's all we can do. Besides cherish the memories. More hugs.
ReplyDeleteNo mantel here, but there will be another box of ashes to add to the other 5 soon. Cujo was so loved and spoiled by me. There all were.
DeleteMartha probably thinks Cujo is silly for not coming in when he does.
ReplyDeleteMartha is a force all his own!
DeleteGrief has no timeline.
ReplyDeleteI am still mourning the loss of Oscar and that was 5 years ago. He was so arrogant and demanding. Now I can smile when I think of him, though. It takes as much time as it takes.
DeleteI'm glad Bo and Eddie are comforting you.
ReplyDeleteNothing like a favored pet can hold so much comfort.
DeleteI was wondering how the other fur babies were dealing with the loss of Cujo. It takes a while. I'm glad you have pictures of him to remember the good times, though right now it might be heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteThings are getting easier and becoming a new normal. Bo has actually turned the corner and becoming a nice and somewaht affectionate little dog. Toni Louise takes everything in stride. She did mourn quite a bit whwn we lost Wall-E. They were new pups together. She didn't seem to care when Oscar died and now again with Cujo. Eddie is still quite sad, as they were buddies who got to do things with me that didn't include the others. Bo is the right age to come out of puppy mode and maybe it is just coincidental that Cujo died recently.
DeleteDogs definitely grieve. Don't know about cats.
ReplyDeleteMartha is not affectionate with anyone in particular. He accepts any affection offered as his due. He did mourn Wall-E. Wall-E was loved by everyone, like Eddie. Personalities all different. Hard for all of us.
DeleteCats grieve... we saw our cat grieve his two dogmates until he, too, left for the rainbow bridge. He took over the places they slept, going from one spot the other, never seeming to quite know which one to choose most. Sounds like Martha is just wanting to be alone in grief for now, maybe just trying to figure it out. Just keep loving them all, my friend. Hugs for your hearts.
ReplyDelete