Who Are You?

 Yesterday was spent in a benadryl stupor. No, not poison ivy. I seem to have avoided any leaves of three as I cleared my woods and claimed my territory on the embankment. I know there is some, I have seen it and steered clear.

I have been thinking about terracing the slope that I have cultivated and mulched. It is hard to maintain my balance while planting, then tending flowers. I had it all worked out in my mind. No, I didn't want any help or input from HeWho would want to go buy a piece of heavy equipment and then take over like a bull in a china closet. It would end up being a mess I would then have to deal with. I knew it would require a lot of muscle pain and sweat, but what else do I have to do?

Gloves, a spade and my garden shoes that allow me to stand at an angle on the slope. Check, check, check. I trudged up the driveway in the cool of the evening and after positioning my sprinklers on my other garden beds I began to work. I decided to start with a gentler slope as you ascend the driveway beyond my already mulched in bed. I stood on the pavement and began to dig a small ledge above the daylilies already planted. It was going easier than I expected. I had thought I would hit a lot of rocks and resistance, but I didn't. Biggest rock was about fist sized. Next step was to go up the embankment and and make the next slice from that angle. I went along for about 10 feet, then went up and moved my sprinkler again and started digging away.

I was patting myself on the back, as my plan seemed to be working and a wonderful cool breeze accompanied the sudden drop in temperature that meant a storm was brewing. I was thankful for the breeze, I was fighting the sweat rolling into my eyes and thinking that I should hike down the hill soon.

I finished the initial row and decided to keep going up top. That's when I hit the bed of hornets! I pushed my shovel in the ground and a second later they swarmed up in an angry swirl and I threw the shovel down as I ran to the other end to escape them. This was not my first adventure with their kind! Last time I didn't react as quick and they launched a vicious attack up the legs of my shorts and down my shirt.

Still they got me. Three stings on my arms, four on my legs, one on my heel and the worst one was on the back of my head. It is still so sore. Feels like I got smacked in the head with a baseball bat! I struggled with my phone and sweaty fingers and called for back up. HeWho to the rescue, right?

This is how the conversation went. Me: "Bring the wasp spray and come up here." Him: "What, I can't understand you." Me, louder: "I have been stung by yellow jackets, bring the wasp spray up here!" Him: "What? A jacket? What are you talking about?" Me, thinking I should have texted, but thought this would be quicker: "Can you just come up here and help me?" I didn't wait for a reply. I was down at the end closest to the house by then, pulling my shirt off and picking dead hornets off my body.

He finally emerged from his castle and looked up at me to ask me again what I was talking about. He looked at me in my underwear and wanted to know what I was doing and why I just didn't go the the steps and come down. Because the swarm was near the steps, I didn't think I wanted to encounter more stings, silly me. I asked about the bug spray and he said he didn't know where it was. Since he was the last person to use it, this seemed about right. I slid my way down the embankment as far away from the hornets as I could get and proceeded to march into the shed and see that for once he had put something back where it belonged. I handed the can of bug killer to the man and told him to turn the water off to my irrigation system and I headed to the shower.

The cold water always helps, but I was pretty miserable. I had pulled the stinger out of my right arm and proceeded to check the other sites for more. I then checked the medicine cabinet for a remedy. Great, no benadryl, no other antihistamines. Plenty of poison ivy aides, no bee sting aides. I spied some Vicks vapor rub and checked the ingredients. Camphor and menthol, why not give it a try? I did and it brought a measure of relief.

Then I ventured to the wild side of my life and asked HeWho can't hear to check the sting on the back of my head, as it was the one that hurt the most. He reluntantly heaved himself out of his recliner and came to the bathroom and said he didn't see anything. I told him I wanted to see if the stinger was still imbedded in my scalp. I put my finger on the stung area. He fumbled around and still saw nothing , so I glopped some Vicks on that one, too.

I took 800 mg. of Ibuprofen, the strongest dosage one should take, some melatonin and hoped for the best. I did sleep some, but it was a miserable night. My canines weren't too keen on cuddling with me, due to the smell of the Vicks. Just as well, I was not in a cuddling mood.

Morning arrived and itching started. HeWho offered to get me an iced coffee form McDonalds. I accepted and requested that he visit Walgreens, right across the street and get some Benadryl. Told him generic was fine. He brought me "Allergy Relief, plus congestion" telling me that the Walgreens had no benadryl. I give up. I almost asked if he had even thought about asking for assistance, but I already knew the answer. It had the ingredient I wanted, plus another I didn't need. I took it. He wanted to know why I was so fussy about it. The other ingredient tends to raise your blood pressure and was not necessary. Drew a blank look from the man who used to work in the medical field and apparently retained no knowledge from that experience. 

He then said, "You left the water on all night up there by your shed." I asked if he remembered that I had asked him to turn it off. He has no memory of that, just that I yelled on the phone about jackets. I just looked at this man I have been married to for almost 50 years and said, "Who are you and what have you done with my husband?"