I Want To Flee

 No pictures today of my latest adventure. It does involve canine calamities, so if you don't care for dogs, you might not want to read.

Let me preface this by saying that my dogs go to the vet with regularity, are treated monthly with flea, tick, larvae prevention and bathed at least once a month. They are petted and loved and checked frequently for anything out of the ordinary. I never see flea dirt on my babies and I look specifically for it, as well as bumps that might indicate a tick. Our yard is treated with granules that kill fleas, ticks, and mosquitoes. Our entire yard, including the area around the She Shed.

As I have said, I wait for cooler temps and work outside in the evening hours. I get mosquito bites from time to time, like the rest of the world. For the past couple of weeks my legs have been itching incessantly. I can see red marks that I assumed were mosquito bites. Yesterday, as I was sitting on my couch in my usual spot, a flea jumped on my cheek. I felt it crawling, unaware that it was a flea until i knocked it to my forearm. A flea IN MY HOUSE. I am not sure HeWho sits in his recliner believes me. He is certainly not upset about it, as I am.

I knew we had some fogger bombs in a cabinet, so I located them and read the instructions. Then I took charge. I moved Dora, the turtle outside onto the porch and began taking the covers off the couches and putting any food away, such as fruit, etc. HeWho sat watching me until I yelled at him to get up and help me. He was assigned to making sure all windows were closed and cleaning the dust I just noticed from the ceiling fan. Then after I made sure the cat was not asleep in my bed, we coralled the canines and took them out to the porch while HeWho set off the "bombs" in the desinated areas I had set up. The can proclaimed it to be effective for 2,000 cubic feet, so we used one in the main living area and one in the hallway where the door to the bedroom and bathroom meet. I am aware that cubic feet and square feet are not the same, but that was enough for 4,000 cubic feet and our living space is around 365 square feet. I toyed with thoughts of using all 4 cans in the package, but figured it would be a bit much and not necessary. We had to leave for three hours. Dora and Martha were content on the porch. We had a collapsable water dish for the dogs and my pockets were full of treats.

I was busy leashing dogs and suddenly looked around and said, to no one in particular, "Where's Bo?" I looked in the dog yard and found it empty and Bo is usually jumping around to get his leash on. I repeated my query in a louder voice and that is when I looked at the sliding glass door to see my Bo looking at me FROM THE OTHER SIDE! My baby was in the locked house with poison gas filling the air!

Can you hear the screeching music that was playing in my mind. HeWho was fumbling to unlock the door to grab him. He ran behind the recliner and Eddie got away from me to go INSIDE, I suppose with thoughts of helping. Then Toni Louise followed and chaos reigned! I went in and grabbed Eddie and yelled at Toni to go back out. HeWho grabbed poor little Bo and we were finally all reunited on the porch. I was weak with relief, then started coughing. Bo and I both coughed until we almost threw up. Throughout it all, Cujo stood patiently waiting to go "bye bye".

We all piled into the truck and drove to Hiawassee to gas it up, gas being cheaper in Georgia. Then we drove aimlessly. That was until HeWho suggested Dunken Donuts. Sure, Bo and I could use a good jolt of sugar. We set off to Blairsville and about halfway there, HeWho decides that the Dunken Donuts he saw was in Murphy. I knew there was also one in Blairsville, so we traveled on. 

We finally got there and HeWho went in. I was not dressed to get out and I am easy to please, so he was nominated. Lobby was closed, but he got a good look at what was in the cases. We went through the drive-thru. I liked glazed donuts and I really like cruellers. He ordered cruellers for me and the snotty kid in the window snapped that he was out, in a tone that suggested that he didn't really like the people aspect of his job. This hit a nerve in the man driving and he snapped back in the same tone, "No, you are not!" The kid replied that yes, he was. HeWho then told him that he was just in there and saw that the case was full of them. The kid continued to deny there were any cruellers and HeWho drove away.

I stayed silent, though I wanted to say that I like glazed. Just wasn't the time. So we stopped at Ingles and he went in and got two T-bone steaks, on sale for $7.95 lb. No pastries involved in this transaction (from former experience I will say that the bakery in Ingles is disappointing). We drove home and were 15 minutes shy of the time we could open the door.

We waited outside. I got involved in my garden, as we were supposed to air out the house for two hours with the air on and the windows open. I read these instructions aloud to the man who went inside to follow through. I was coming up the steps to the porch as he decided that the 15 minutes that had passed was enough. I went in to see that he had only two windows open, with a box fan blowing out in one. I opened all the windows and turned on every fan I could find to complete the job. I tossed the couch covers in the washer and went back out. Plenty to be done outside for the next two hours!

And now, I tell you the most ironic part. Brace yourselves, okay. I was sitting in my position on the couch this morning when ..... a flea jumped on my arm! I SAW it and said it and HeWho considers himself to be of superior intelligence looked at me with that look that says, "Maybe you just THOUGHT you saw a flea." The flea jumped to my cheek, the one on my face, as I was sitting on the other one. I got up carefully and went to the man in the recliner, all the while I could feel this flea crawling on my face. I stuck my face close to his eyes and demanded to know what he saw. At first he denied seeing anything until the flea set in motion again and he pinched it off my face and rushed it to a certain death between his finger and thumb nails.

He is currently on a mission to purchase some remedy that promises to be safe for bedding and furniture, as well as humans and animals. At Walmart, of course. In his absence I have not encountered another flea. In my hyper sensitive state I would surely feel one. The dogs and I are just hanging out until the man with the spray returns.