How Do I Love Thee

 How dost thou annoy me? Oh, let me count the ways. I worked far too long one day last week and was exhausted when I came limping down the hill to the smell of pork chops on the BBQ. Oh, good, I think to myself, he has prepared dinner.

I comment that it smells good and wonder aloud what he might be serving along with the chops. He answers, "Whatever you fix." I know he had to hear the door slam as I went inside. I was thinking I would open a can of green beans and a can of corn and heat them while I showered, since he had announced that the meat was ready.

The can opener must have gotten up and left the building. I searched all the most obvious places and have yet to locate it. I yanked open the freezer and grabbed the first vegetable I saw and put it in the microwave. He seems to notice that I am annoyed, but he is perplexed. After all he did cook the pork chops that I got out and put in a marinade. He cooked dinner, what is she so annoyed about!!

Because I am tired and I ALWAYS cook dinner and clean the kitchen and take care of the laundry and housekeeping chores while he holds that chair to the floor wand watches endless hours of Tv and U-Tube on his phone. I try to explain that the work load falls solely on me and that I am TIRED. It annoys me to have to explain the obvious!

He tells me I try to do too much. Thank you for that pearl of wisdom! How about some help? He informs me that he took the trash out. I already know this, as the trash can sits waiting to be lined. I respond with telling him that if I don't do it, it won't get done. He vows to be more help. This annoys me.

Today I was on the hill preparing an area to plant while burning tons of twigs and dead leaves. I ask if he would like to come help me cut down some dead trees I have encountered. When he arrives to cut trees, I ask if he got my text and if he took some chicken out for dinner. He nods the affirmative. He cuts, I drag and then he takes over fire duty while I clean up the area. I look down in the ditch to see that the fire has gone out and he is nowhere to be seen. This annoys me. I decide to call it a day until the sun starts to set and head down to get cleaned up and rest a bit.

The dishes from yesterday are still sitting in the sink, so I wash them up and launch a search for the chicken. I can't find the chicken. So, okay, maybe he has something he wants to go get for take-out. Fine with me. But it still annoys me.

I see that the load I washed before I started out was dry and ready to fold. I make the bed and toss the contents of the dryer on my bed to be folded after I am clean. I check the front load washer that I had put the Oxyclean envelope of the monthly "stay fresh" stuff. I sniff the air as I open the washer and see the contents of the envelope still lingering in the tub of the washer. Great, I forgot to turn it on in my haste to go play in the woods. 

I cut my hair, then shower. HeWho has informed me that the thawing chicken is in the microwave. Well, now why didn't I think to look there? All clean and barefoot I head to the kitchen and open the microwave to see the chicken resting on a plate. I reach up to grab the plate and it tilts forward and the chicken water splashed on my chest and in the floor. I manage to remove my shirt before the icy water hits my skin. I change my shirt and bra (more laundry) and go back to the kitchen to gather all the ingredients for supper. This annoys me.

I grab the asparagus from the fridge on my way and the rice and sesame seed and put them on my meager prep space. The closet is not done. Only two shelves thus far. All the contents of said closet are on every available surface waiting for the shelves. It looks like we just moved in, unpacked and didn't bother to put anything away. I am SO annoyed.

He cut a 30" shelf from the long piece of shelving, despite his wife pointing out that there were TWO 30" pieces sitting there ready to use. He assured me they would be used on the other row of shelves on the side. They will have to be cut down to 28". Why? Such a simple deduction to use what is readily available and not have to cut it. Why am I smarter than him? I don't know. I sew, I think in 1/8 yard increments. This annoys me.

There is already an existing system of brackets on the back wall. The shelves were too deep, and the brackets too long. We need to purchase the correct size, but since I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, I suggested we wait to purchase them then, instead of making a special trip. We have the necessary materials for the other wall, but he refuses to do that wall until he finishes the other wall. This annoys me.

So here I am in the kitchen preparing to cook when I step in something wet. I forgot about the chicken water on the floor that is now pushing up between my toes. Should I go take another shower? Will I be plagued with salmonella feet? Is that even a thing? Am I further annoyed?

If I were a heavy drinker .... I found a wine cooler in the fridge. I am drinking it while I write, and it occurs to me that I haven't eaten since breakfast. Breakfast was oatmeal cookies (I am lowering my cholesterol, oatmeal, right there in the name of the cookies!) I had 3 saved and ate two of them. Toni Louise and Bo watched me get up for more coffee and forget that the cookie was still with-in reach of four-leggers and stole my cookie! This annoys me! I don't know how it is the fault of HeWho was still sleeping, but it is!

I feel better now. I don't know if this is the alcohol or the purging of my thoughts. I will cook now.